That night, nightmares haunted young Malachai. He was dreaming of standing over Devon’s coffin at her funeral. She looked so peaceful until her eyes popped open. She looked him dead in the eyes and said, “You could have prevented this, Malachai. All you had to do was tell me you loved me. You know I loved you. I killed myself because you don’t return the feelings.” Malachai’s eyes shot open and he awoke in a cold sweat. He sat up and checked the time. It was only 12:00… midnight. He sighed, got up and padded quietly down the hall to wash his face. There was no way he was going to sleep. Not with dreams like that coming up from his subconscious. He went downstairs to find that neither of his parents were in bed yet either. They were sitting and watching a movie as his Dad rubbed his Mom’s feet.
When he came into the room, his mother looked at him. “What’s the problem, son?” she asked.
“Can’t sleep”, he groaned. “I’m having some fucked up dreams.”
“What are you dreaming about?” asked his Dad.
“Devon. I dreamed that I was standing over her casket when her eye pop open and she says that she to me that I could have prevented her suicide had I just told her that I loved her.”
His dad let out a small chuckle. “Doesn’t that sound familiar?” he said sarcastically.
“You had nightmares too, Dad?”
“As a matter of fact, I did, Malachai. Do you know what the song ‘Inside the Fire’ is about?”
“Kind of. Could you clarify for me?”
“I had a girlfriend as a teenager named Devon. I was 14, she was 19. I was home for spring break from school when a friend of mine invited me to a party. This party was where I met Devon. She was tall and just fucking beautiful. She was a lingerie model, but she was also a heroin addict. Eventually, after trying to make it work, I had to call it off. She didn’t take it very well. Well, after a year of having to hear my best friend at the time tell me about how she’d call my name when they had sex and all the bull shit rumors she told about me, it was spring break all over again. Went to another party and ran into her. She ran out crying hysterically. Later, I got a phone call telling me that she’d OD’d. When her funeral was held, I was standing over her casket and I could hear this almost demonic voice telling me to kill myself. I had nightmares afterward for years. Finally, after several years of having them, I stopped having them for a while. The band was just getting big and we were constantly on the road. Then, right around the time we started the ‘Indestructible’ recording cycle, I started having the nightmares again. I’d wake up in cold sweats just like you did tonight and have for about the last week. So, I wrote ‘Inside the Fire’.”
Malachai shook his head. “That’s insane, Dad. So, here’s a question for you. When you say, Devon one of eleven, what does that mean?”
“She was one of eleven children.”
“So, the song is about the devil telling you to kill yourself so that you could be with her again?”
His Dad nodded. “Pretty much.”
Malachai smiled sadly. “It’s kinda sweet in a twisted sort or way.”
“Here’s a thought, Malachai. Why don’t you take a pen and pad and write out what you REALLY felt for her. And, seeing as you’re moving from vocals to guitar, take your guitar that your Uncle Danny gave you for Christmas a few years ago and put it to music if it will help. Since writing ‘Inside the Fire’, I haven’t had the nightmares.”
“Should I start it tonight?”
“The lyrical part, you can. The musical part should probably wait until morning after your brothers and sisters are at school.”
He looked from his father to his mother. “What do you think, Mom?”
“I think that your Dad’s given you some great advice and that you should take it”, she said.
Malachai smiled. “Thanks Mom and Dad. You two are the best.” He stood and went back up the stairs, calling a good night over his shoulder to his parents.
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Malachai was up all night writing out his feelings on a legal pad that he had for one of his classes and never used. When he heard the stirring of his brothers and sisters were stirring, he grabbed the guitar that his godfather had given him for Christmas the previous year and the small amp and started putting the words he’d written to music. After his siblings were at school, he took the guitar and amp down the stairs and played what he’d written for his parents.
David and Brie watched their oldest son perform the song he’d just written. It was heavy, but haunting. Fast paced and sad. It sounded like a mix of “Inside the Fire” and “Asylum”, with a touch of “Nightmare” by Avenged Sevenfold. David was impressed and made sure that Malachai knew it. “THAT, my son, was an amazing song.”
Malachai smiled. “Thanks, Dad. I wanted you and Mom to hear it before I took it to Caleb and let him hear it so that he could put a drum beat to it.”
“Good idea”, Brie said. “And for Logan’s audition, you could have him put a bass line to it.”
Malachai smiled and kissed his mother’s cheek. “Mom, you’re a fucking genius! I absolutely love you!”
Brie smiled at her son. “I love you too, Malachai. Go meet with Caleb and let him put a drum beat to it.”
Malachai looked at his Dad. “Dad, can I borrow your motorcycle?”
“WHY?”
“To go meet with my drummer.”
David laughed. “You know where the keys are. Scratch it and you pay to have it fixed, Malachai Aaron.”
Malachai laughed. “Yes, sir”, he said and headed out the door.
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