Once they were home, the children were able to get their grief out. David and Brie sat in their living room and let their children cry until they couldn’t cry anymore. During the time they were gone, Malachai was able to get Jenn calmed down enough to get a little bit of rest. When he and Amanda came down the stairs, they joined his parents in letting the young ones get out their grief. Malachai held Maddie while she cried. Amanda helped by holding little Marc while he cried. She was as upset as the rest of the family, but she and Malachai would let out their grief when they were alone. She wasn’t going to fall apart in front of the in laws. Not going to happen. She was upset and she’d gotten close to Matt in the time that he and Jenn had lived with the family. His loss stung her deep. Matthew Cartwright was everything her uncle should have been. He loved his nieces and nephews. He was the pinnacle of what a brother should have been toward David AND his sister. He didn’t treat his sister like a whore because she got mixed up with a rock star. She couldn’t have been more proud to be able to call Matthew James Cartwright her uncle.
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After the children had settled down, David had to unpleasant task of calling the other guys in the band and telling them about Matt. They’d known he was sick. Now, he had to tell them he was gone. His heart was sitting on top of his stomach as he dialed their numbers in the conference call. After they’d all picked up their phones, David cleared his throat. “Guys, I have bad news”, he said.
“What’s going on, David?” Dan asked.
“We’ve lost another brother, boys. Matt passed away last night.”
“Man”, John said. “That sucks. How’re Brie and Jenn holding up?”
“Brie’s being Brie. She’s staying strong for Jenn and the kids. But when we’re alone, she falls apart.”
“How are YOU holding up? We all know you and Matt were close.” Mike said.
David sighed. “I’m ok, I guess. I have my moments. He asked me just yesterday to speak at his funeral. I didn’t think I’d be writing the speech this soon.”
“Damn, brother”, Dan said.
“What Danny said”, John said. “That’s rough. Has Jenn started making the arrangements yet?”
“No. The only thing she really has to do is call up the Arlington. Matt reserved his plot a long time ago. The service is going to be at a Catholic church about a mile from the cemetery. He wanted his military funeral.”
“Is his uniform ready?” Mike asked.
“He’s not even at the funeral home yet, Mikey!” David snapped, then realized what he’d done. “Shit, Mike, I’m sorry. I’ve been dealing with crying kids for the last three hours. Neither Brie nor I has really been able to really grieve. We had a brief period of time where we fell apart before we went and pulled the kids out of school and since then it’s been hell. Jordan and Maddie have been inconsolable. They’ve been crying since before I picked them up from school. Jake wants to go BACK to the school just to kick some kids’ asses because they were making fun of Jordan because she was crying over Matt’s passing. The quads and the other set of twins have been bawling in between naps. Usually one wakes up and they all wake up.”
“Even though they’re not babies anymore?” Dan asked.
“Yeah, even though none of them are babies anymore.”
“Do you guys have a date for the funeral yet?” John asked. “I can’t speak for the other guys, but I’d like to be there. Matt was like family to me.”
“No, John, you can speak for us. Matt was family to us all”, Dan responded.
“Sorry, guys, we don’t have a date yet. This all just happened. I’ll be sure to let you all know when we do. I figured you’d all want to be there. You’ll know as soon as Jenn sets one.”
“Thanks for letting us know what’s going on, David. Go be with your family and let us know should something changes”, John said.
“Will do. I’ll talk to you guys again soon.” He hung up. At that point, he folded his arms on top of his desk and sighed as he laid his head on his arms. Dear God, what the hell am I going to say at this man’s funeral? It’s not like I can just go up to that podium and wing it like I do on stage. Finally, it came to him. Say what’s in your heart, a voice in the back of his mind told him. He sat up and turned on his computer. Once it had booted up, he pulled up the document composition program and started typing what he would say. He wasn’t usually one for scripts, but he wasn’t about to go up there and talk about Matt on the fly. He could get away with impromptu speeches on stage, but not when it came to speaking about someone who meant the world to his family he wasn’t going to go up to that podium and make an ass of himself. He put the finishing touches on his speech for the moment, saved it to his hard drive, and shut the computer down. Now, he needed to be with his family. He children needed him; his brother in law’s widow needed him; his wife needed him. And that’s where he went to be- with his family.
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Late in the afternoon, the coroner called to ask what funeral home Jenn wanted Matt’s body released to. She’d already made arrangements for his body to be transported to Arlington and his uniform would be transported along with his body. He would be going to Gregory & Holter funeral home in Arlington. She’d be leaving the next day to make all of the final arrangements. The funeral would be in five days. “The sooner I can get him in the ground, the sooner he’ll finally be at peace”, she said.
“If you think that’s best. We’re going to have the obituary ran in the paper tomorrow”, Brie said.
“Thanks for taking that over for me, Brie. I appreciate it. I appreciate everything you guys have done for us. I’m sure that Matt did too.” She took a shaking breath. “I can’t believe he’s gone”, she said as she started to cry.
Brie took her sister in law in her arms and held her as she cried. “I know, Jenny. I can’t believe he’s gone either.”
“I can’t stay here without him. It would hurt too much”, she cried.
“That’s ok, Jenny, we understand. But, where will you go?”
“My sister lives in Arlington. I’ll be staying with her while I fight to have Matt’s pension switched over to my name. With my pension and his, I should be able to get an apartment out there.”
“Good idea. We’ll miss you here, sis.”
“Thanks, Brie. That means a lot to me.”
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That night as she and Malachai lay in bed, they tried to console one another. When they had crawled into their bed, Malachai started weeping uncontrollably. Mandy took him into her arms and started crying herself. It broke her heart to have him crying on her shoulder, but not having him cry would have worried her. She knew he was a strong, unshakable man- much like the man who raised him. But, she’d seen her father in law shed a few tears over his brother in law through the course of the day so she knew it wasn’t a crime for her fiancé to shed a few tears over his Uncle.
David and Brie Draiman were the strongest, most caring people she knew, and she’d seen them cry; if only for a few brief moments. She respected them even more for pushing themselves to keep their shit together for their children. She wanted to emulate them in whatever way possible. If that meant that she had to hold her man while he fell apart, then that’s what she’d do.
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Brie laid in bed with David and sobbed into his shoulder. Her heart was breaking. Her brother was gone. The person who had protected her through childhood and kept her family alive as adults; that man was now gone. “My big brother is gone”, she cried. “He wasn’t supposed to die yet. I needed more time to let him go.”
David was having trouble holding in his own heart break as his wife sobbed into his shoulder. “I know, baby. I wasn’t ready for him to go yet either”, he said. One of the tears he’d been fighting off slid down his face. “But, he’s not suffering anymore. He’s not in pain anymore.”
“But why so damn soon?”
“I don’t know, honey. I guess God wanted him to come home.”
“What about me, damn it?! What if I didn’t want him to go home yet?” She knew the answer, but she needed to put that question out there.
“What we’re ready for doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of things, Brie, you know that.”
“I know, but I wasn’t ready for him to leave.”
“None of us were”, he said as he regained some of his self control. “But, he’s gone now. All we can do is mourn over him.”
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